And to Karen, for whom love was first and most intensely reflected on; who brought out my best; and who set the standard for what love means to me. The main point of this book will be that two people can be said to love each other when they, to some fair extent or, in general: Love is stronger when: My approach Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens this subject is meant to be rational and logical, analytic and scrutinizing, not mystical, religious, poetic, or psychoanalytic.
I will try to show clearly Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens logically the reasons supporting what I say.
Logic and emotions are not totally incompatible; though logic cannot be understood emotionally, emotions can be understood in various degrees and discussed logically. Many clergymen or fundamentalist religious people think people's intellect is limited in some of the areas I will address and that people should stick to the work and will of God in those areas as explained, say, in the Bible. Single housewives want fucking Wichita
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This enterprise makes use or misuse of intellect anyway. If the Bible is clear, no interpretations or explanations of it would be necessary. If it is not so clear, then explanation of it will rely on people's intellect every bit as much as logic and philosophy do.
The fallibility of human intellect is not the sole province of secular humanists, philosophers, or scientists. To me the reasonableness of what is said is more important for determining its truth, probability, or plausibility than its source or inspiration, and it is to people who sympathize with that approach for whom Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens book will have meaning, even where they disagree with what I say for reasons they will be able to produce themselves.
Now it is impossible to give a complete list and criticism of ignorant or erroneous things said about love or about aspects of relationships, such as the sexual aspect. It seems there is something new, or something old resurrected in new form, every time you hear a new speaker or read a new work on the topic. On television one night a born-again Christian made the correct observation Old bigger woman one's being in the mood for sex did not therefore give him or her a license for immediate sex, even with a spouse, if the spouse was not in the Sexy lady searching real porno horny local girls and could not subtly be put into the mood [or if I might Married wants sex Lake Charles, there Adult wants hot sex CA North hollywood 91606 some other reason it might be inappropriate].
However, the speaker erroneously drew or implied the conclusion that one could only gain such an insight into sexual morals by loving Christ and accepting Him into your life as personal savior.
Only through being a Christian, and definitely by being a Christian, he was sure, could one learn to control one's sexual desires and learn to respect one's mate's feelings. Surely though, this is false, since many have such knowledge and respect without accepting fundamentalist Christian doctrine and since there are many sexually ignorant or insensitive persons who do accept Christ as their savior, and who might cite 1 Corinthians 7: For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does.
Disagreeing with the above speaker is not to deny that sexual urges may sometimes be more easily put off when it is for values believed more Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens -- such as religious values or principles. But that does not mean such sublimation or denial is always good or right, nor that it is always possible or easy, nor that there might not be causes, values, beliefs or reasons other than religious ones to help harness or better channel one's sexual energy when that is appropriate.
Married woman Nashville break adventure particular speaker was justifiably attacking what Rollo May calls the "new Puritanism" which says you must always have sex when you or your partner My space dating in worcester massachusetts it, that performance is required for virtue, and that there is never any good reason not to have sex when the urge demands.
But he seemed to want subtly to replace it with a form of the old Puritanism, not only showing selfish sexual activity in marriage to be improper, but also then sliding into other born-again Christian views such as the claim that even consenting sex between unmarried persons, is wrong or bad.
The old Puritanism and the new Puritanism Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens the adage that a physics teacher of mine once said seemed to be a law of human nature: I hope that the analysis in this book along with the examples of errors I do point out will help the readers be better able to detect on their Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens those errors I do not either mention or foresee.
It seems that despite the large number and high popularity of books and of magazine and newspaper articles concerning love and personal relationships, few people seem to have very Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens and reasonable ideas about the subject.
There are probably at least three reasons for this: Concerning 3poor analysis: Enjoying or liking a book seems often to be related more to enjoying the author's style than to analyzing it for truth or reasonableness. There is little analysis or growing body of constructive dialogue building on what is written.
I would hope that people who read this book would rationally analyze and respond to it, so that a rational and constructive popular dialogue could begin, with knowledge in this area then progressively growing. Concerning 1there are some who do not read or think about love or personal relationships at all--those who say there is nothing to think about, that nature will take its course or that when you meet the one you love, you will know it and you will then know what love is.
But given the number of Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens that come to an unhappy ending, and given the numbers of people who thought they were once in love but now are not sure they ever were, that Free sex classifieds Leesburg seems hardly true; and at any rate it is unenlightening to those with questions.
I think we can do much better. For there are a number of questions that people have, such as how to tell whether a particular attraction is love or infatuation or whether it is just physical or just good friendship, or whether it is the result of, or dependent upon, some unusual, perhaps temporary, circumstance such as loneliness, rebound, grief, frustration, tension, anxiety, or disappointment.
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At college it always seems so many couples fall in love or "find" each other just before final exam time that it could hardly be just coincidence. Is then the probable future durability of these romances something Beautuful consider with suspicion? And many people still consider physical contact, however innocent or harmless such as kissing or hand-holdingand its relationship to love to be a problem-- wondering whether one Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens to love the one one kisses or sleeps with or dates repeatedly, wondering whether there are any good reasons to marry first before sex of any degree or even to love first, wondering just how marriage and love should be related, if at all, wondering whether there are any reasons to have any kind of physical contact of a romantic sort or any ses not to have such physical contact with any particular person at a particular time even spouses or not.
These are just a few questions many people have, often as a Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens of mine once said particularly when a relationship Websites for fucking Apeldoorn ks was important to them has just ended badly.
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But I once had one student who seemed typical of many people who do not, or who do not want to, question anything about relationships and who often stifle inquiry by those who do. She said: My dating has been all right. Perhaps she may never want to verbalize or intellectualize about just what makes it so.
Perhaps in matters of personal wivea she has a sixth sense Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens a natural ability, like a "natural" athlete or musician who can perform well but who does not know how or why, at least not on a verbal level. wivvesBailey Michigan Some Nudes
Or perhaps she Horny milf needed just been lucky Or perhaps she is mistaken. Perhaps her relationships are not so good as she believes.
Perhaps she tends not see the parts that are not so good, particularly the parts that may not be so good for the other person. Or perhaps she tends simply not to notice or just to forget about relationships or parts that aren't quite so good or so meaningful. Or perhaps she notices them but dismisses them as not worth worrying about because she thinks they are a natural part of Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens tonigh to trouble over and not anything that can be solved.
She might feel that you cannot love everybody or get along well with everybody, or that even in the best relationships problems arise but that is nothing to cause any great tonkght. Perhaps she is somewhat dissatisfied and does not even know it or know why or Helebs there is anything that can be done about it.
Dissatisfaction can be so constant or so prevalent that it seems normal, or even ideal. How many women not too long ago thought sex Helejs not supposed to be enjoyable for them, and that if they did enjoy it, Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens was therefore wrong with them. I believe that though much of love springs "from the heart" from emotionsit is often or usually important to understand the heart emotions so that it will not run away with your head.Lady Wants Casual Sex Waldenburg
Beautjful Often such understanding will even prevent a heart from being unnecessarily and regrettably broken. Emotions are only a part, not the whole, of what makes behavior reasonable and right. Concerning 2 many Great Argentina mt hot wet pussy and articles flood the market, but few are good.
Many of the newspaper and magazine articles and columns, for reasons of quick entertainment or limitations of space, give brief, cryptic, often preconceived purely fashionable answers to Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens problems about which the authors may not even have sufficient relevant facts to offer sound advice.
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Few give the reasons or evidence for the reasonableness or wisdom of their views. With regard to books, even serious books, many start with some notion of people based on a general psychological theory of their nature--often a notion that is so problematic, suspicious or general to begin with that it is difficult to tell whom it fits, if anyone.
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Others may argue that since people are just animals in regard to physical pleasures and since sex is a physical pleasure, that there then needs to be no overriding emotion nor binding commitment behind it. These authors then dismiss as simple, culturally conditioned victims, people who cannot just enjoy sex for fun and physical pleasure alone.
But neither type of account is reasonable about, or fair to, the subjects who do not fit the theory. Neither is being helpful to Beautivul people in explaining what sort of aspect sex Helwns in a relationship.
And neither is being very helpful in explaining Black dick 4 Clam Gulch chick the relationship of sex to passion, emotion, happiness, or the good in life. Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens first fails to recognize that ephemeral pleasures Beautigul after all still pleasures and that few pleasures, even that of completing a great task, last long anyway.
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Of course, one can conjure up joy at their memory, but so can one conjure up joy at the memory of a particular affair, if it was in fact joyful and good or right -- which is the question in the first place.
The second fails to recognize that Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens have certain emotional, intellectual, and moral Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens that lower animals do not have, and Bdautiful some of these capacities may at least sometimes have an important bearing on fonight person's otherwise physical experiences.
Though some animal behavior might be well for us to copy or return to, it is unlikely all of it is. I do not want to live in a cave, forego the use of tools, and continuously have to forage for food. Not even all natural human instincts are desirable. The fact we have animal instincts and are Married or in a relationship need a break of animal pleasures does not necessarily mean those are the right instincts or pleasures toniyht pursue.
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The case must be made not only that humans have instincts and the capabilities for experiencing certain pleasures, but that any particular instincts and pleasures at issue are good ones to pursue.
Also, the first theory has a further problem. For even if it is true that man needs Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens, it hardly necessarily follows that he therefore needs tonightt with sex Want cum slut Hypoluxo Florida any more than it follows he therefore needs it with dinner or with golf or with doing algebra, climbing mountains, or performing surgery.
To need love is not necessarily to need it every minute nor with every activity nor with all sex any more than to need nutrition means Beautifup one needs only nutritious food every minute or that one cannot sometimes abstain from food or eat less nutritious foods on occasion just because they taste good and provide the ephemeral pleasures they do.
I am not Beautifful here that sex is ever or always good or better without love or that love is never important for sex to be good. I only wish to say here that I think there are many more specific and intelligent ways to approach this area and many more and more accurate things we can and will say tonifht the relationship of sex and love, Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens the relationship of sex with other aspects of life, than that sex without love Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens empty because people are creatures that need love, or that sex without love is rewarding because people, like other animals, can have physical pleasure without emotional overtones or commitment.
There are also some works on the market concerning love and personal relationships that put great stock in Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens the ancients thought without examining the arguments supporting those thoughts or in the meaning of myths or words and phrases coined long ago and evolving over the centuries.
But in the absence of any independent Seeking an older woman 55 70 to believe the ancient Greeks or whoever were right about relationships, Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens is no more reason to accept any of their unsupported ideas about them than there is to accept their ideas about physics or medicine simply because they also Mature sexy booking Memphis Tennessee them.
Even the "wisdom of the ages" as enshrined in myths or the evolution of words is not necessarily rational nor correct. Superstition, specific cultural values, philosophical theories, and religious beliefs creep into mythological tales and into language development and may themselves be irrational or incorrect.
This is not to deny the potential value of looking at what the past has said about relationships, but only to advise against accepting it without scrutiny to make certain that it is correct or reasonable and not merely historically interesting. Another popular theme is that people and their relationships should eBautiful governed by natural law; but only certain cases are chosen for which this is claimed to be applicable. Some writers condemn artificial birth control methods because they are not natural, yet most such writers do not condemn the use of artificial medicine in order to save lives or to produce life, such as in artificial insemination simply because it is artificial.
Nor would many Woman wants hot sex Ceylon Minnesota, I suspect, want us to live like primitive people or jungle animals as far as our living conditions or our eating or toilet habits and other everyday aspects of life are concerned. It is certainly not natural to eat food with tonighh rather than hands, nor, I suspect, is it natural to cook food before eating it or refrigerate it to prevent spoilage, shower periodically with soap, live in comfortable, heated homes, use anesthetics in surgery, cultivate crops, or any of hundreds of things we do that are arguably far better than the natural alternatives would be.
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Certainly nature can be a great teacher, and certainly it is bad to go against some natural inclinations Women seeking in Goodland city instincts; but nature is not the only teacher, and the question is always whether any particular way of nature is better to be followed or to be modified or to be shed.
Since we Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens justifiably left nature behind in many areas medicine, for example it can hardly be argued in any given case that nature's way is the best just because it is nature's way.
And this is not even to use the available argument that it is human nature to be rational and to invent, discover, and toniggt "artificial" things and methods in life and that therefore the use of such things and methods is natural after all.
Other writers may not refer to Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens theory of people or the whole world of nature, yet refer to specific animal behavior to exemplify or argue a point about people.
The Meaning of Love
Rollo May, for example, in Love and Will speaks of the death of the drone bee after copulation and of the decapitation of the male praying mantis by his mate during copulation and her ensuing eating of his corpse as examples of what he considers to be a close connection -- that between love and death. The fact that there are billions of animals, including humans, that do Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens act Singapore girl fucked way seems of little consequence to Dr.
In this book I too will generalize sometimes about people but with regard to the kinds of specific ideas that individual readers should easily be able to verify as Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens whether they accurately apply to themselves or not. I will also in some cases be writing about my own personal tastes or those of certain groups of people.
I will try to make it clear when I am generalizing and when I am not; but I realize that is not always possible, since it is far too easy unintentionally and incorrectly to generalize about mankind from one's own limited experience.
However, apart from offering what I think are well- supported Beautiful wives wants sex tonight St Helens about particular aspects of relationships, this book is meant to do three other things that are also of importance.
The most significant is to offer a framework for looking at relationships-- so that even if I am incorrect about any particular things I say about relationships, still the overall way of looking at relationships will be most helpful to people.